Do you feel your relationship is getting harder and harder?
It's time to find each other again.
Sometimes the problem isn't falling out of love
Picture any argument.
It starts with something apparently small: an unanswered message, something left undone, a remark that hurt, or a conversation you had been avoiding for a while.
One of you tries to explain how they feel. The other gets defensive because they feel attacked. The conversation heats up, old problems come back and, without quite knowing how, you're having the same old argument again.
Maybe one of you needs to talk it through right then, while the other needs some distance. The more one insists, the more the other pulls away. And the more they pull away, the more the first needs an answer.
Until you reach a point where you don't even know exactly what you were arguing about.
And then come the silence, the guilt, the anger, or that feeling of drifting further apart.
Many couples don't come to therapy because they've stopped loving each other. They come because they've fallen into patterns that hurt them and no longer know how to get out.
Couples therapy can become a space to stop that cycle, understand what is happening between you and start relating to each other differently.
Do you recognise yourselves in any of this?
Maybe lately your relationship looks like one of these situations:
- “We argue again and again about the same things.”
- “I feel that when I try to explain what I need, they don't understand me.”
- “Lately we're together, but I feel far from my partner.”
- “We find it hard to talk about certain topics without ending up arguing.”
- “Jealousy, insecurities or trust issues have appeared.”
- “Something has happened that damaged our relationship and we don't know how to repair it.”
- “Our intimacy or sex life has changed and we find it hard to talk about it.”
- “One of us feels they need more closeness and the other keeps pulling away.”
- “We don't know if we want to stay together, but we don't want to decide without trying to understand what is happening to us.”
If you recognised yourselves in any of these situations, it doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is broken. Sometimes the problem isn't only what happens, but the dynamic that has built up around it.
In therapy we will try to understand what keeps those conflicts going, what each of you needs and what changes you can start to make in the way you relate.
The goal won't be to decide for you what your relationship should be like, but to help you understand it better and find a healthier way to communicate, care for each other and make your own decisions.
Hi! I'm Álvaro, a general health psychologist.
In couples therapy my role is not to take sides or decide who is right. We will work to understand the dynamic that has formed between you, what lies behind the conflicts and what each of you needs to start relating in a different way.
Would you like to get to know me a little more?
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